Oral sex is one of the greatest things you can do in the bedroom. As a woman it’s one of my favourite things to do and have done to me. You can have a man completely at your mercy and decide exactly when you are going to bring them to the moment of ecstasy. You can have someone bring you just to the brink of orgasm and keep you there for as long as they want. There’s almost nothing better.
However, I often hear men talking about giving women oral. They’re scared of getting it wrong and joke that it can take a woman years to orgasm. They seem to believe that, if a woman doesn’t orgasm in two minutes she is never going to orgasm.
Contrary to popular belief, giving a woman oral sex is not rocket science. It might take us longer to get there, but when it does it is worth it. Every woman is different, so we can’t tell you to do step 1, 2, and 3, but we can give you some tips on finding the right path to take to that orgasm.
1) It’s a marathon – not a sprint
Giving a woman oral works best if you take your time and slowly build up. Rushing puts more pressure on the woman, and no-one performs well under pressure. If she feels that you’re pushing her, she might just fake it to keep you happy… We don’t want that, do we?
2) Listen to her
If a woman is enjoying it, she’ll start to move with you and moan. This is not a cue to try something else or to slide your fingers in and stop licking. It’s her way of letting you know that what you are doing is good and it’s working. Changing what you’re doing can mean that the orgasm that was coming goes away, which can be very frustrating. Keep at it.
They say variety is the spice of life, and this also applies to oral sex. There are so many different things you can do down there that you’re bound to be spoiled for choice… So try them all and see how she reacts to each. Licking and gentle sucking can give great results, but don’t focus just on the clitoris. Try slowly licking and kissing the entire pussy one bit at a time before moving to the clitoris. It will make the anticipation of what’s to come even greater.
When you do reach the clitoris, remember that it is extremely sensitive. I’ve had men enthusiastically sucking as though my clit is a straw and the orgasm is the last bit of drink at the bottom of a glass. It can be really painful and put a girl off completely. Biting is a definite no, and sucking should be kept gentle if you are going to do it. If you aren’t sure, stick to licking your way to orgasm.
5) Moans are a good sign
Here’s a tip that a lot of people, for some reason, choose to ignore. If your partner starts moaning and groaning while you are going down on her, keep doing what you are doing. Don’t change a thing. It will sound like we are stating the obvious, but the moaning means it is working.
If you decide to change things up when she starts to get vocal, she might actually lose her orgasm. Yes, it is possible, and yes, it is frustrating. So, once she starts to get louder, do not change a single thing. Keep the same speed, the same pressure, the same everything.
Of course, there are some exceptions to this rule. When she starts to get vocal, she might start telling you things. She might say “harder” or “faster”. If she does tell you to change things, take her lead on it. Give her what she wants and you will be rewarded with her pussy clamping down on your fingers as she screams your name.
6) Amazing oral sex experiences
One of the best ways to find out about the things that work for your partner in the bedroom is to talk to them. Sit down and ask about what they enjoy the most in oral sex, and they will, mostly likely, give you a straight answer. If they don’t, you can always experiment and see what makes them tick.