Sorry gentlemen, but as a woman I can tell you that a lot of you tend to make the same oral sex mistakes again and again. You’ll try your hardest, give it your all, and yet what you have learnt throughout the years through experience and watching porn just doesn’t cut it and we don’t get to have that moaning, groaning, screaming your name out so the neighbours know exactly what is going on kind of orgasm that we were hoping for.
The problem is that sometimes it really isn’t your fault, so what are the mistakes that you need to avoid, and how can you change your technique in the bedroom to make your oral sex skills even better than before?
You don’t need to talk about it
Confession time – sometimes bad oral sex is just as much the fault of the woman as it is the man going down on her. You might be wondering how on earth this could be, but it is all very simple – we don’t talk about oral sex.
Okay, so a lot of the time you guys might have picked up “tips” from porn videos that just don’t work, but we women are just as guilty because we might not always tell you what we want. We might prefer to keep quiet and pretend it is working, since it might hurt your feelings otherwise. Even worse, we might fake it simply to stroke your ego.
If you really want to make sure you are licking her pussy in the right way, you need to talk to her about it. After sex is the best time, as you should both be relaxed. Tell them how much you love eating their pussy and that you want to have their body shaking beneath you in orgasm. Ask what their favourite part is, and they might just give you the hint you need to give them oral sex they will never forget.
You can stop when your tongue gets tired
One of the biggest and perhaps the worst mistakes that men tend to make in the bedroom when performing oral sex is that they get to a point where their tongue gets a bit tired. They assume then that, by this point, their partner will be adequately warmed up and so they can stop. They leave their partner lying on the bed without an orgasm because hey, if a woman doesn’t come in ten minutes then she just isn’t going to at all, right?
When this happens it is because men forget a few things. Women tend to take a lot longer than men to orgasm. Okay, so some might be lucky and manage it in a few minutes, but some can take around ten or fifteen minutes to get to the point where they are screaming your name.
Men also forget just how tiring blowjobs can be for women. We women have to bob our heads up and down, keeping our mouths open enough to slide your cock in but tight enough to grip it with their lips, all the while sucking and using our tongue to tickle the underside of your cock. Sounds exhausting, right? Well, if we can do that for you, you guys sure as hell can do the same for us. Don’t stop when your tongue gets tired.
If you find your tongue gets tired very easily, you need to change the way you go down on your partner. Instead of keeping your tongue tensed to a point to lick her clit, relax it and use the flat of your tongue. You’ll cover more nerve endings that way and be less likely to end up stopping too soon.
Using the same position over and over again
You would get very bored if you had sex in the same position over and over again, wouldn’t you? Well, it is exactly the same for oral sex. Most women tend to have oral sex in bed, lying on their back, with their partner kneeling between their legs.
It might seem like the easiest position for it, but it can get really boring. If you want to really blow her mind and change things up, you should try a new position. Something as simple as propping a pillow under her ass works wonders, as the added elevation makes it easier for you to get to those sweet spots you want to kiss and lick.
If you really want to change things up, catch her by surprise. If she is bending over in front of you in a tempting way, take her from behind. Kneel as she stands and bury your face into her cunt. The change will have her moaning and groaning in no time at all.
You have to keep changing what you’re doing
Even looking online to see the different “top tips” that people have for oral sex, you will find a lot of mistakes there. One of the two big ones that keeps popping up is that you have to keep changing things up to keep things fresh and exciting for her.
Honestly gentlemen, you really don’t. If something isn’t working for her, by all means try something new. Ask her what she likes and then go with that, but if she is enjoying it and you change what you’re doing, she might just lose the orgasm that was coming her way.
Instead, you should find what works and stick with it. Don’t change the pace, tempo, or rhythm at all, unless she tells you to. By doing the same thing consistently she is going to get closer and closer to orgasm, and you will feel as though you’ve earned it by finding the technique that works before on her.
Writing the alphabet on her clit
Now we come to the second biggest mistake that you will find on the “top tips” websites. They will often suggest that, for those unsure of just how to move their mouths, spelling out letters of the alphabeton her clit is a good way to go. This, they believe, will “guarantee” an orgasm.
I cannot tell you the amount of times I have had oral sex and felt the letter “A” being rubbed, hard, into my clit. It isn’t exciting at all. In fact, it just puts women off because they are waiting for you afterwards to ask which letter they preferred, when none of them worked because you changed things up too soon.
You don’t need a tongue that can spell to get her to orgasm. Okay, it might be an interesting party trick, but this isn’t a chance for you to show off to the masses. This is where you show the woman that you are with that you can get her off. Keep things simple by rubbing your tongue slowly in circles around her clit, or by going from side to side.
Oral sex isn’t that complicated when you look at the 5 common oral sex mistakes and how you can fix them. Have you got some other ideas that you want to share on the darkdesires blog, or have you a suggestion that might work better than ours? Let us know in the comment box below.
Also read about The most common mistakes in Oral Sex.